FOOD YOU CAN'T EAT: THE SHOWDOWN
Burrito Tortilla Blanket vs 3D Baguette Bread Pillow. Only one can reign supreme. Both will be purchased.
Burrito Tortilla Blanket
by Zulay
$21
Become a burrito. Twenty-one dollars. Wrap yourself in destiny.
PROS
- +Become a burrito. That's the entire pitch and it's perfect.
- +Seventy-one inches of soft, tortilla-printed comfort
- +Twenty-one dollars for the most photogenic blanket in existence
CONS
- -You will be called a burrito for the rest of your life
- -The realistic tortilla print may trigger genuine hunger
3D Baguette Bread Pillow
by DIYARTS
$33
A forty-inch bread you hug. Carb-free. Gluten-free. Joy-full.
PROS
- +Forty inches of photorealistic bread to hold and cherish
- +Softer than real bread, which is the whole point of it being a pillow
- +The print quality makes it look like actual bread from across the room
CONS
- -Visitors will attempt to eat your pillow and you cannot blame them
- -It's a bread pillow. You own a bread pillow now. Sit with that.
THE NUMBERS
SCORE BREAKDOWN
THE VERDICT
The Burrito Blanket wins on the strength of total body immersion. The Baguette Pillow is forty inches of photorealistic bread, and it's genuinely beautiful in the way that only a plush French loaf can be. You hug it. You display it. Guests attempt to slice it. But the Burrito Blanket lets you wrap your entire body in a six-foot tortilla and become food. You are not holding bread. You are a burrito. The print quality on both is disturbingly realistic, but only one of them transforms you into a Mexican culinary staple. At $21 vs $33, the Blanket also costs less, because apparently becoming a burrito is more affordable than hugging a baguette.