ONLY$299
7.8/10
QWERKYWRITER Typewriter Keyboard
Three hundred dollars to type emails like Ernest Hemingway.
ACQUIRE THISAre you tired of using a toilet that DOESN'T have Bluetooth?
ONLY$15.00
24K Gold Foil Playing Cards
by LLF
“Fifteen dollars of gold-plated cardstock in a box fancier than your jewelry.”
SURREAL SCORE: 7.3/10
A full deck of playing cards plated in 24-karat gold foil, packaged in a wooden gift box with a certificate of authenticity. You are holding fifty-two rectangles of gold to play Go Fish. The cards are waterproof because even luxury has to plan for poolside poker. They feel like shuffling thin sheets of destiny.
ACQUIRE THIS$15.00 on Amazon. Prices may vary.
THE PSYCHIC EVALUATION
Actual 24K gold foil on every card surface
Comes in a wooden gift box that screams 'I spent exactly $15 on this'
Waterproof, so your gold cards survive your yacht (or bathtub)
Certificate of authenticity for fifteen dollars of gold-plated cardstock
They're gold, so everyone at poker night will assume you're bluffing
Shuffling gold foil cards is like shuffling thin metal sheets
The wooden box is nicer than the cards, which says something
THE VERDICT
Absurdity Index7/10
Meme Potential7/10
Practical Value6/10
Price-to-WTF Ratio9/10
OVERALL SURREAL SCORE7.3/10
“A full deck of playing cards plated in 24-karat gold foil, packaged in a wooden gift box with a certificate of authenticity. You are holding fifty-two rectangles of gold to play Go Fish. The cards are waterproof because even luxury has to plan for poolside poker. They feel like shuffling thin sheets of destiny.”
OTHERS HAVE SUFFERED THESE:
ONLY$11K+
7.5/10
KOHLER Numi 2.0 Smart Toilet (Black)
The black one costs more. Because of course it does. Ten grand for a toilet.
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