Are you tired of using a toilet that DOESN'T have Bluetooth?

KOHLER Numi 2.0 Smart Toilet (Black)
$10,500
THE LUXURY ABSURDIST

KOHLER Numi 2.0 Smart Toilet (Black)

KOHLER

“The black one costs more. Because of course it does. Ten grand for a toilet.”

Surreal Score: 7.5/10

Surreal Score Breakdown

Absurdity Index10/10
Meme Potential10/10
Practical Value8/10
Price-to-WTF Ratio2/10
Overall Surreal Score7.5/10

The Verdict

Everything the white Numi 2.0 does, but in black, and for fifteen hundred dollars more. That's right. The color black costs fifteen hundred extra dollars on a toilet. This is the Darth Vader of bathroom fixtures. It's a matte black throne for people who want their bathroom to match their soul.

The Good

  • ✓All the features of the white model plus an extra fifteen hundred dollars of vibes
  • ✓Matte black finish that makes every other toilet look like a peasant's chamber pot
  • ✓The most intimidating toilet anyone will ever sit on
  • ✓Statement piece for bathrooms that need to assert dominance
  • ✓Same UV cleaning, heated seat, and bidet excellence in darkness

The Bad

  • ✗You paid fifteen hundred dollars for a color. For a toilet.
  • ✗Shows water spots more than the white model, which is cosmically ironic
  • ✗Guests will be afraid to use it and honestly, fair
  • ✗Insurance companies don't have a category for 'luxury toilet damage'
ACQUIRE ON AMAZON

$10,500 on Amazon. Prices may vary.

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