KOHLER Numi 2.0 Smart Toilet (Black)

Name: KOHLER Numi 2.0 Smart Toilet (Black)
Brand: KOHLER
Price: 10500 USD
Availability: InStock

by KOHLER

“The black one costs more. Because of course it does. Ten grand for a toilet.”

SURREAL SCORE: 7.5/10

Everything the white Numi 2.0 does, but in black, and for fifteen hundred dollars more. That's right. The color black costs fifteen hundred extra dollars on a toilet. This is the Darth Vader of bathroom fixtures. It's a matte black throne for people who want their bathroom to match their soul.

ACQUIRE THIS

$10,500 on Amazon. Prices may vary.

★ 4.2 on Amazon

THE PSYCHIC EVALUATION

All the features of the white model plus an extra fifteen hundred dollars of vibes

Matte black finish that makes every other toilet look like a peasant's chamber pot

The most intimidating toilet anyone will ever sit on

Statement piece for bathrooms that need to assert dominance

Same UV cleaning, heated seat, and bidet excellence in darkness

You paid fifteen hundred dollars for a color. For a toilet.

Shows water spots more than the white model, which is cosmically ironic

Guests will be afraid to use it and honestly, fair

Insurance companies don't have a category for 'luxury toilet damage'

THE VERDICT

Absurdity Index10/10

Meme Potential10/10

Practical Value8/10

Price-to-WTF Ratio2/10

OVERALL SURREAL SCORE7.5/10

“Everything the white Numi 2.0 does, but in black, and for fifteen hundred dollars more. That's right. The color black costs fifteen hundred extra dollars on a toilet. This is the Darth Vader of bathroom fixtures. It's a matte black throne for people who want their bathroom to match their soul.”