ONLY$11K+
7.5/10
KOHLER Numi 2.0 Smart Toilet (Black)
The black one costs more. Because of course it does. Ten grand for a toilet.
ACQUIRE THISAre you tired of using a toilet that DOESN'T have Bluetooth?
ONLY$299.00
QWERKYWRITER Typewriter Keyboard
by QWERKYTOYS
“Three hundred dollars to type emails like Ernest Hemingway.”
SURREAL SCORE: 7.8/10
A three-hundred-dollar mechanical keyboard built to look like a 1940s typewriter. Cherry MX Blue switches, a return bar lever that actually works, and a tablet stand so you can pretend your iPad is a sheet of paper. Every keystroke sounds like a telegram being composed during wartime. It weighs five pounds because luxury has mass.
ACQUIRE THIS$299.00 on Amazon. Prices may vary.
THE PSYCHIC EVALUATION
Cherry MX Blue switches deliver the most satisfying click in computing
The return bar carriage lever is real and functions as Enter key
Built-in tablet stand for that old-timey journalist aesthetic
Bluetooth and USB connectivity because even nostalgia needs WiFi
Zinc alloy frame weighs enough to anchor a small boat
Three hundred dollars for a keyboard that types exactly like a $50 keyboard
The clicking noise will get you exiled from every open office
Weighs five pounds, which is more than most laptops
THE VERDICT
Absurdity Index7/10
Meme Potential8/10
Practical Value7/10
Price-to-WTF Ratio9/10
OVERALL SURREAL SCORE7.8/10
“A three-hundred-dollar mechanical keyboard built to look like a 1940s typewriter. Cherry MX Blue switches, a return bar lever that actually works, and a tablet stand so you can pretend your iPad is a sheet of paper. Every keystroke sounds like a telegram being composed during wartime. It weighs five pounds because luxury has mass.”
OTHERS HAVE SUFFERED THESE:
ONLY$15.00
7.3/10
24K Gold Foil Playing Cards
Fifteen dollars of gold-plated cardstock in a box fancier than your jewelry.
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