ONLY$50.00
5.8/10
Amazon Echo Dot (5th Gen)
The surveillance device that plays your Spotify. What a time to be alive.
ACQUIRE THISAre you tired of using products that DON'T have 200,000 five-star reviews?
ONLY$129.00
Apple AirPods 4
by Apple
“Two beans. One hundred twenty-nine dollars. You'll buy them anyway.”
SURREAL SCORE: 5.5/10
They're white plastic beans that play music. Somehow the fourth version of a white plastic bean costs more than the third version of a white plastic bean. They work flawlessly, which is the least interesting thing about them.
ACQUIRE THIS$129.00 on Amazon. Prices may vary.
THE PSYCHIC EVALUATION
Sound quality that makes your old earbuds feel like tin cans on a string
Spatial Audio turns your skull into a concert hall
The case is so small you will lose it at least twice
Seamless Apple ecosystem integration for the deeply committed
You are paying $129 for something you will drop in a toilet
Everyone on the subway already has them, you absolute conformist
Android users need not apply
THE VERDICT
Absurdity Index2/10
Meme Potential4/10
Practical Value9/10
Price-to-WTF Ratio7/10
OVERALL SURREAL SCORE5.5/10
“They're white plastic beans that play music. Somehow the fourth version of a white plastic bean costs more than the third version of a white plastic bean. They work flawlessly, which is the least interesting thing about them.”
OTHERS HAVE SUFFERED THESE:
ONLY$50.00
5.5/10
Amazon Fire TV Stick 4K (2024)
Fifty dollars to watch the same three shows on five different apps.
ACQUIRE THIS
ONLY$160
5.5/10