#1
$129
Surreal Score: 5.5/10bestseller
Apple AirPods 4
Two beans. One hundred twenty-nine dollars. You'll buy them anyway.
ACQUIRE THISAre you tired of using products that DON'T have 200,000 five-star reviews?
$160.00
THE BESTSELLERS
Kindle Paperwhite (2024, 16GB)
Amazon
“Carry a library in your pocket. Read three books a year.”
Surreal Score: 5.5/10
Surreal Score Breakdown
Absurdity Index2/10
Meme Potential3/10
Practical Value9/10
Price-to-WTF Ratio8/10
Overall Surreal Score5.5/10
The Verdict
A single-purpose device in 2026. Revolutionary. It does one thing and does it well, which is more than can be said for your attention span. Sixteen gigabytes of storage means you can carry more books than you will ever read in your lifetime.
The Good
- ✓E-ink screen that won't destroy your retinas at 2 AM
- ✓Battery lasts weeks because it barely does anything
- ✓Waterproof, so you can pretend to read at the pool
- ✓16GB holds roughly 11,000 books you will get to eventually
The Bad
- ✗You are buying a device to do what a paperback does for free at the library
- ✗Amazon knows exactly which page you stopped reading
- ✗The ads on the lock screen are a choice
$160.00 on Amazon. Prices may vary.
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#2
$50.00
Surreal Score: 5.8/10bestseller
Amazon Echo Dot (5th Gen)
The surveillance device that plays your Spotify. What a time to be alive.
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Amazon Fire TV Stick 4K (2024)
Fifty dollars to watch the same three shows on five different apps.
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