ONLY$299
7.8/10
QWERKYWRITER Typewriter Keyboard
Three hundred dollars to type emails like Ernest Hemingway.
ACQUIRE THISAre you tired of using a toilet that DOESN'T have Bluetooth?
ONLY$700.00
Breville Barista Express
by Breville
“Seven hundred dollars to make coffee you could buy for four dollars.”
SURREAL SCORE: 5.8/10
A seven-hundred-dollar espresso machine with a built-in grinder that turns your kitchen into a pretentious cafe. It has more settings than most cars. The espresso it produces is genuinely excellent, which makes the price almost justifiable. Almost.
ACQUIRE THIS$700.00 on Amazon. Prices may vary.
THE PSYCHIC EVALUATION
Built-in conical burr grinder for fresh grounds every time
Professional-grade steam wand for latte art ambitions
Dose control grinding delivers the exact amount of coffee
Seven hundred dollars for a coffee machine requires internal dialogue
The learning curve is steeper than the price tag
THE VERDICT
Absurdity Index4/10
Meme Potential5/10
Practical Value9/10
Price-to-WTF Ratio5/10
OVERALL SURREAL SCORE5.8/10
“A seven-hundred-dollar espresso machine with a built-in grinder that turns your kitchen into a pretentious cafe. It has more settings than most cars. The espresso it produces is genuinely excellent, which makes the price almost justifiable. Almost.”
OTHERS HAVE SUFFERED THESE:
ONLY$11K+
7.5/10
KOHLER Numi 2.0 Smart Toilet (Black)
The black one costs more. Because of course it does. Ten grand for a toilet.
ACQUIRE THIS
ONLY$15.00
7.3/10
24K Gold Foil Playing Cards
Fifteen dollars of gold-plated cardstock in a box fancier than your jewelry.
ACQUIRE THIS