ONLY$299
7.8/10
QWERKYWRITER Typewriter Keyboard
Three hundred dollars to type emails like Ernest Hemingway.
ACQUIRE THISAre you tired of using a toilet that DOESN'T have Bluetooth?
ONLY$580.00
GE Profile Opal Nugget Ice Maker
by GE Profile
“Five hundred eighty dollars for the good ice. You know the one.”
SURREAL SCORE: 6.2/10
A countertop ice maker that produces nugget ice, the soft chewable ice from Sonic Drive-In. Five hundred eighty dollars for a machine whose entire purpose is making the specific ice you became obsessed with at a fast food restaurant. Bluetooth enabled because even ice needs an app now.
ACQUIRE THIS$580.00 on Amazon. Prices may vary.
THE PSYCHIC EVALUATION
Produces up to 24 pounds of nugget ice per day
Bluetooth scheduling so ice is ready when you wake up
Side tank for extra ice storage when your cup runneth over
Five hundred eighty dollars for ice, the thing that falls from the sky for free
Counter space permanently dedicated to frozen water production
THE VERDICT
Absurdity Index5/10
Meme Potential7/10
Practical Value8/10
Price-to-WTF Ratio5/10
OVERALL SURREAL SCORE6.2/10
“A countertop ice maker that produces nugget ice, the soft chewable ice from Sonic Drive-In. Five hundred eighty dollars for a machine whose entire purpose is making the specific ice you became obsessed with at a fast food restaurant. Bluetooth enabled because even ice needs an app now.”
OTHERS HAVE SUFFERED THESE:
ONLY$11K+
7.5/10
KOHLER Numi 2.0 Smart Toilet (Black)
The black one costs more. Because of course it does. Ten grand for a toilet.
ACQUIRE THIS
ONLY$15.00
7.3/10
24K Gold Foil Playing Cards
Fifteen dollars of gold-plated cardstock in a box fancier than your jewelry.
ACQUIRE THIS