ONLY$16.00
6.5/10
Fake Six Pack Abs T-Shirt
Skip leg day. Skip arm day. Skip all the days. Sixteen dollars.
ACQUIRE THISAre you tired of BLENDING IN with the crowd?
ONLY$7.00
Snail Eye Headband
by DNOIFNE
“Give yourself snail antennae. Seven dollars.”
SURREAL SCORE: 6.2/10
A plush headband with two bouncing snail eyestalks on springs. Seven dollars to transform yourself into a gastropod at any social gathering. The eyestalks bounce when you walk, adding a sense of urgency to your mollusk cosplay.
ACQUIRE THIS$7.00 on Amazon. Prices may vary.
THE PSYCHIC EVALUATION
Soft plush material comfortable enough to wear for hours
The bouncing eyestalks respond to every head movement
Seven dollars makes this the most accessible identity crisis available
The springs eventually lose their bounce, like all of us
Hard to be taken seriously in any professional context
THE VERDICT
Absurdity Index8/10
Meme Potential7/10
Practical Value1/10
Price-to-WTF Ratio9/10
OVERALL SURREAL SCORE6.2/10
“A plush headband with two bouncing snail eyestalks on springs. Seven dollars to transform yourself into a gastropod at any social gathering. The eyestalks bounce when you walk, adding a sense of urgency to your mollusk cosplay.”
OTHERS HAVE SUFFERED THESE:
ONLY$16.00
7.5/10
Pickle Skateboard Cowboy T-Shirt
A pickle. On a skateboard. Wearing a cowboy hat. Sixteen dollars.
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ONLY$35.00
6/10
Garden Gnome Riding a Dachshund
A gnome on a wiener dog. Thirty-five dollars. Yard art perfected.
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