ONLY$299
7.8/10
QWERKYWRITER Typewriter Keyboard
Three hundred dollars to type emails like Ernest Hemingway.
ACQUIRE THISAre you tired of using a toilet that DOESN'T have Bluetooth?
ONLY$650.00
Vitamix A3500 Blender
by Vitamix
“Six hundred fifty dollars to liquify produce at aircraft volume.”
SURREAL SCORE: 5.8/10
A six-hundred-fifty-dollar blender with a touchscreen, wireless connectivity, and enough horsepower to blend a brick. It makes smoothies, soup, nut butter, and the sound of a jet engine taking off in your kitchen. Professional chefs use these. You will use it to make banana smoothies three times and then display it on the counter as furniture.
ACQUIRE THIS$650.00 on Amazon. Prices may vary.
THE PSYCHIC EVALUATION
2.2 horsepower motor blends literally anything into liquid
Built-in wireless connectivity for timer programs
Self-cleaning mode: add soap and water, press a button
Six hundred fifty dollars for a blender that your $40 one also does
The noise level requires warning your neighbors
THE VERDICT
Absurdity Index4/10
Meme Potential5/10
Practical Value9/10
Price-to-WTF Ratio5/10
OVERALL SURREAL SCORE5.8/10
“A six-hundred-fifty-dollar blender with a touchscreen, wireless connectivity, and enough horsepower to blend a brick. It makes smoothies, soup, nut butter, and the sound of a jet engine taking off in your kitchen. Professional chefs use these. You will use it to make banana smoothies three times and then display it on the counter as furniture.”
OTHERS HAVE SUFFERED THESE:
ONLY$11K+
7.5/10
KOHLER Numi 2.0 Smart Toilet (Black)
The black one costs more. Because of course it does. Ten grand for a toilet.
ACQUIRE THIS
ONLY$15.00
7.3/10
24K Gold Foil Playing Cards
Fifteen dollars of gold-plated cardstock in a box fancier than your jewelry.
ACQUIRE THIS